This past week has been filled with an incredible amount of stress. It was the first week on my HMR program that there wasn't a known challenge going into the week. I was very relieved about that at the start of my diet week on Monday, but the worst type of challenge confronted me every single day of the week.
Monday, November 16th
Today was my third weigh-in and for the second week in a row, I lost 1.8 pounds. The total was 9.6 which is way better than I would have done in another program and more than I would have done if I wasn't going to the clinic each week. I know that I would have had some little cheats if I didn't weigh in at the clinic each week. My accountability to myself is very different that to the clinic. On one had the almost two pound loss was good, but on another hand it wasn't.
One of the topics discussed in class was a study on a number of people on the program. People who remained "in the box" and had all their prescription amounts for 7 days lost 2-3 pounds consistently each week. Those that followed the program "in the box" 5-6 days lost 1-2 pounds average per week and those that followed it 4 or less days averaged about .77 pounds a week. As I was sitting there listening to this survey, I couldn't help but wonder if anyone thinks that I'm not staying in the box and not following the program when in fact I am. I began to wonder if there's a medical reason that I'm not in the averages of 2-3 pounds. I've been handling my challenges quite well, for me.
Knowing at this point that I had no known challenges for the week, I was all set mentally for a really good week staying on program and hopefully having a good loss for the next weigh in.
Here's where my week started to go awry... I received a letter from Medicaid stating that more information was needed to complete Bethany's application. There was no time to call when I got home from afternoon runs so I would call on Tuesday.
Tuesday, November 17th
On Tuesday, I woke with a massive headache thinking and worrying about the call to Medicaid. My headache was so severe that I was unable to walk or workout. I felt disappointed, but there was nothing I could do. Advil wasn't cutting the headache.
Mike worked from home and I was unable to use the home phone to make the call to Medicaid. My cell phone doesn't get very good reception in the basement where my home office is containing all of my paperwork. Tuesday was out for the phone call. This was almost okay since my headache permeated my entire day.
A not so funny thing happened at work today. One of my coworkers asked to borrow $250 from me with the promise to pay it back on Friday. This gave me a bit of a chuckle because his wife also works at the bus company. The two of them have borrowed money from other coworkers and almost everyone there knows that they are very bad about paying the money back. It took them over a month to return $5 to a fellow sped driver last year. He was only kidding himself if he thought I'd loan him $5, but to ask for $250! That was ridiculous on many levels. If he thought that I was going to loan him money from the lottery pool that I run, he was sorely mistaken. That is not my money. I hold it to give out to the winners. By the end of the day, I did manage to have a laugh about this. I also told some of the newer drivers not to loan this couple any money that they didn't want to just throw away.
Wednesday, November 18th
Once again, I woke with a severe headache and was unable to work out. I had more things to worry about than whether or not I was going to get my minimum physical activity requirements for the week.
Even though Mike was working from home once again, I managed to call Medicaid in between Mike's business calls. The woman I spoke to was very nice and very helpful, but they needed Bethany's permission to speak with me even though a copy of the guardianship papers were provided in her application packet. I was instructed to fill out form 778, Authorized Representative, and fax it to the Nashua office. THEN, it took two days for the proper place to receive and file it. I could have/ should have filled it out and forged her signature, but I was afraid that she would have to sign something in the future and the signatures would be very different. I could easily forge Mike's signature, but not Bethany's. I also could have called back as her, but if anyone really read her paperwork, they would know right away that it was not her calling. Again, I didn't want to jeopardize the application.
It occurred to me that the one year anniversary of Bethany's guardianship was some time mid to late November. I pulled out the court documents to find that the Annual Review forms were due in court by November 19th. Well.... That was the next day! If they weren't filed by that date, we may have to go before the court again and/or pay a fine or fee to have the guardianship continued. I thought I was supposed to receive something from the court one month in advance of the deadline, but I had received nothing. I read through the documents to find the website for the forms. I found the one for Annual Review, printed it, and began reading. Thankfully, the form did not have to be notarized. We both signed and and planned on going to the clerk's office in Brentwood on Thursday.
I was informed at work that they were giving me two additional students for my elementary run in the afternoon. Very very long story short, someone was getting out of work and another drier and I were getting dumped on. I was getting the brunt because the students I had were on extreme ends of town. I couldn't help but wonder if I was getting payback for kicking the boss out of my weekly lottery game for not paying and then have her number come up the previous Friday (OOPS for her!). The rules apply to everyone, even the manager. Right? I was smart enough to dish off two of my kids to the one guy that was losing 3-4 of his afternoon kids. The outcome for this is that now I'm done my afternoon run at least 10 minutes earlier every day when all of my kids ride the bus! This created some anxiety and stress for me for a few days.
Throughout the day, I managed to eat 5 of the HMR bars. Normally I have only one a day, but I kept eating them. The instructors keep saying "more is better" meaning that if you feel like having something to eat, pick something more on the program rather than eating off the diet. There's been discussions in class about how the bars aren't the best choice and can also be eaten too much. I just felt like having them, so I did. They were a much better choice than something I would have typically had off of the program.
This was an off the wall stressful day from start to finish!
Thursday, November 19th
Once again I woke with a severe headache and was unable to workout. This was beginning to stress me out, even though I was trying to not let my diet program stress me out. I was remaining on track. The worst thing I did, if you want to call it that, was to not have enough water. My food intake was right on track.
This was going to be a crazy day. I had to attend a safety meeting at work 9:30-10:30, drive to Brentwood which was about 40 minutes away to file the guardianship papers, and fax the form to Medicaid. The question was: Could it be done and stay on track with all of the extreme pressure and stress and headache?
At the safety meeting, they turned out the lights to watch a video. This is never a good thing for me. I had all I could do to pay attention and stay awake. Did I mention that I've been waking up at 2am each day? I got a little nudge from my friend sitting next to me!
As soon as the safety meeting was finished, I sped off home to get Mike to go with me to court. Unfortunately, while I was talking to him on the way home, something had come up at work for him and he was unable to join me on my adventure to court. I always get anxious going to this particular court because we spent too much time fighting his ex-wife there about his two girls. Thankfully, we don't have to deal with her any longer, but the court still makes me nauseous. I grabbed the papers at home and off to court I went. At the clerk's office, I asked why I didn't get anything in the mail. Her reply was that they don't send the notices out any longer. "You should know when your Annual Review is needed," I was told in a very nasty voice. WELL OKAY THEN! The papers were filed on time. Now I just needed to wait for the approval.
I got home and went straight to my office to fax the Authorized Representative form to Nashua. Our phone line with the fax wasn't working. We couldn't make any phone calls. We rebooted the router, but the phone still didn't work. I sat there rechecking the phone lines every 2 minutes. In between, I rushed upstairs to make my lunch and then go back down to check the phone. No luck. I leave for my afternoon runs at 1:35. At 1:30, I saw that Mike was on the phone. It was back working, but he was on a business call! CRAP! I had to wait until after work.
I got home about 3:40 and ran it to submit the fax. Once again, the phone line wasn't working. Feeling defeated, I left it for Friday morning.
Friday, November 20th
These headaches were becoming a daily occurrence. The Medicaid office was open 8am -4pm. The best I could do was fax the forms after my morning run and hope the proper department received it by Monday. With the fax finally set, I had to relax a bit and hope for the best. The paperwork stated that if all of the requirements were not met by the following Friday, that the application would be denied and the case closed. This was completely out of my control at this point.
I run a lottery pool at work which I have referred to. The numbers from 00 to 99 are posted on a spreadsheet at work. People can put their name on any number and pay me $2 per number per week. If your number matches the middle two numbers of the Friday night New Hampshire Pick 4, you win the whole pot. When there's no winner, the pot rolls to the next week. There was no winner on Friday the 13th so this Friday's pot was doubled.
One of the drivers tried to give me 4 quarters instead of a dollar bill. I was so tense and upset, that I told him I wanted paper and threw it back at him. I immediately felt badly about it, but had been in such a bad mood all week long. My disposition the entire week was just miserable.
I checked the numbers about 7:30 like I usually do and found out that I won! I was very excited! Finally something good happened to me this week.
Monday morning, November 23rd
All weekend long I kept thinking about what I would do with my lottery winnings. I wanted to do something good with it. I looked repeatedly at the list of people who are in the lottery pool. Many of my coworkers are going through difficult times. I decided to divide the money between 5 people giving each of them $50. My criteria was that 1) they could not have previously won and 2) they were in need of some help. It was not a lot for each of them, but hopefully $50 can help a little. It felt so good to be giving to others.
As I was driving by the bus lot with my high school students, I started to laugh when I realized that I had given away $250 which was as much money as the one guy had asked to borrow last week. He and his wife did not receive any of my generosity! It made me chuckle, sorry.
I was nervous about my weigh-in. After 2 weeks of only losing 1.8, I was determined that if I experienced another loss of less than 2 pounds, I was going to find out if there was a medical reason why. Happily, I was down another 2.4 pounds. The class discussion was how we are all going to stay on track on Thanksgiving. I do plan to go out of my box and have some turkey, but other than that, I plan to stick to program.
I rushed home to call Medicaid. After being on hold for close to 15 minutes, a very helpful lady was able to help me. She said that we missed an appointment on November 4th. I didn't receive any notice from them otherwise I would have been there. She offered to set up a new appointment. I was anxious about them mailing out another notice, but she was able to set up a phone interview for December 2nd. PHEW!
Things are off to a much better start this week!
Thanks for reading today!